Movie Review: Hatchet [2006]

Please note- before I officially begin this review, I'd like to point out that I will be in fact use pictures and GIFs from the movie in this review [so there are many spoilers]: If you still wish to read the review, it is found below. I just thought I'd clarify before I begin.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hatchet is one of those movies I like for many reasons. It’s a horror, Victor Crowley is a kick-ass villain ♥, It’s got some famous horror actors like Robert Englund [Freddy Krueger] and Kane Hodder [Jason Voorhees] and the movie over all has a lot of comedy to help move the story along. [What more could you possibly need?] Now, the one thing I like about Hatchet the most is that there is no CGI. So in other words, every kill scene [and there is a lot of them], every blood splatter, everything… is not computer generated. :)

[See? Even Charlie Day agrees..and no one fucks with Charlie Day.]
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The plot of the movie is [as IMDB puts it]:

“When a group of tourists on a New Orleans haunted swamp tour find themselves stranded in the wilderness, their evening of fun and spooks turns into a horrific nightmare.”

Now, as stated before- There is absolutely no CGI in this movie. which no doubt makes a lot of horror fans happy. [this includes me] Let me explain why; by asking a question. Have you ever watched a horror movie, and found yourself to be very disappointed by the look of the monster/alien/bad guy in general? Have you ever been so disgusted by how terrible the Special Effects of a movie were- primarily because of said monster?

[I'm looking at you- SUPERSHARK.]
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That's what some like to call: the bad CGI. Don't get me wrong- sometimes CGI can be used in a good way. It can help bring along a scene, or sometimes it's used to make a scene happen that otherwise would be deemed impossible. For the most part however, I actually despise CGI, [unless it's meant to poke fun] & yet movie makers still use their computers to make certain scenes. [although 3/4 times- it doesn't work to their advantage..] This is where Hatchet is completely different. Hatchet actually features NO CGI.. Like none at all. Hatchet is actually a campy fun film for horror fans, and I definitely recommend it to anyone who hasn't seen it. I also want to point out that although it shares the same title- this particular Hatchet is not the same story you had to read in grade school. [Figured I'd clear that up- as some people have asked me that..]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[See for yourself- This was all make up and props.. NO CGI]-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------Now, there is also a Hatchet II that was released last year ago-ish, and unfortunately; I still haven't seen it. When I do however, I will write a review- because for those of us who HAVE seen Hatchet: The story is beautiful, the acting is plain awesome, and you can't go wrong when there is no CGI. [Until then, here's a small GIF from Hatchet II- below]

Finishing first year/How I managed to get into College-

So because I’m so excited [and you should be too!], I felt the need to tell everyone that as of last night [approximately 7:30pm] I finished my final [online] exam! Therefore, I’m done [officially] my first year of COLLEGE!!

[Thanks Kermit & Stephen Colbert, you make me smile!]

—————————————————–

words cannot express how excited I am to be done. [I can finally focus on working more shifts, and saving more money] It’s been a long time coming- I feel relieved to be done, even if I am concerned about marks. All I really have to do now, is go into class tomorrow to be with my group when we hand in our final project [for Communications2]. After that, I’m officially on holidays [apart from work]!

—————————————————–

I guess my excitement is to be expected, but let me explain why in the form of a story . [*This might be considered part of 'Story-Time' based on length*] Around 2 years ago now, [when I first moved to Ottawa] I had just graduated High School and all my friends were running off to College & University. [except for a few- some continued working, others went back to High School for a 5th year..no idea why.] Myself, on the other hand, was one of the few that actually didn’t go straight to College/University. It wasn’t because I didn’t have enough money, and it wasn’t because I didn’t want to- but in fact; [although they were somewhat adequate] my math grade when I graduated was really low. [I'm talking something like 40%]. At first, I felt like it wasn’t too big of a deal- because for a long time, I didn’t really care about the idea of College or University. Yet, for some reason; I felt ashamed of this mark. FLASH FORWARD TO SEPTEMBER:[after graduation, so around 3 months later.] Stephanie had also not gone to post-secondary school, and actually began working right away. [she got an easy transfer to another Rexall here in Ottawa-] I was trying to find a job [I went through 2 or 3 until finally beginning at the Theater- where I am working now.] but I continuously thought about when I graduated- and how I seem to have graduated only by a stroke of luck. It had bothered me for some weeks until abruptly, my grandmother told me about something she heard about through a friend: Academic Upgrading.

—————————————————–

I had never heard of this Academic Upgrading. In fact, I was a little skeptical at first. I had thoughts such as ‘Am I going back to High School?’ & ‘But- I hated high school.’ and other such thoughts. But I agreed to check it out. Oddly enough, the course was free for me [as I was still 18 at the time..weird to know that was 2 years ago*shudders], and it actually took place at Algonquin College [where I go now]. I felt strange- really strange. I didn’t understand why I agreed to this. I felt scared. I took a deep breath and decided to go full force.. Eventually, when I ended up actually in the classroom, I felt a lot better. [it helps that I met one friend- whom I still speak to: SHOUT OUT TO MARINA!] It was an upgrading program for the topic from High School you needed help in the most. So naturally- I chose MATH. I began to truly understand math for the first time in what felt like forever, and every time there was a test- I’d always try my hardest. [which never really happened in High School] I stayed in this upgrading for around 6 to 7 months, and when I finally finished it- I was told if I were to ever sign up for an actual course at Algonquin, my math mark on my report card [from grade 12] would be replaced with the mark I earned in the math upgrading. My final mark [the one that was to take over my shitty High School mark] was a whopping 95%. I was awestruck. Never had I even dreamed of this happening… and the best part was knowing that I had achieved it.—————————————————–

After finishing that Upgrading Course- I chose to go for an official course at the school, and chose to go with Community Studies, which is the one that I finished the first year officially- yesterday. [that does make sense, right?] After tomorrow [as mentioned above], when I hand in my final project into Communications2, I will officially be able to focus on just work.. I’m glad I chose to go for Upgrading first. I think although I try to be friendly to everyone, I would have be terrified to go into a new school, not knowing anyone. But now, I find myself stoked for next year. Because let’s face it- THIS YEAR WAS ONLY THE BEGINNING.

[Above: Algonquin College in Ottawa]

Obvious Overthinking. Part2.

Some times I am curious why I like dark, twisted things. I understand that I have already touched on this topic in the 'obvious overthinking' note, but who says there can't be a part 2? Allow me to re-cap. As a child, I used to be scared out of my mind of horror movies, I couldn't even watch 'Signs' without ducking for fear of being attacked by some foolish looking alien. The very idea of an alien[s] invading Earth was the scariest idea anyone could have planted in my mind, real or fake. Now, fast forward a couple years. I am now 20, I find my mind thinks negative, dark thoughts AND I watch movies like 'SAW', and 'Insidious' [..It's not only movies, but TV too.] I used to watch 'Pokémon' or some other cartoon, now- as seen by my DVD collection- if it doesn't involve death; [I watch shows like 'Six Feet Under', 'Dexter', & 'Dead Like Me']somehow, I don't find it interesting, but rather find myself yawning and feeling bored. Incidentally, I was waiting in the Doctor's office once [waiting on Stephanie♥] and I was just keeping to myself when I saw a magazine.I read in that exact copy of McLean's Magazine that some people are starting to believe that those who have 'warped' minds [like myself], or find themselves depressed aren't actually 'psychologically messed up' like people like to believe, but in fact; it's because they understand how cruel the world truly is .. On a completely different note, but still relevant; it also concerns me a little how I used to think of 'The perfect dream house' when I was younger. In my mind, [at the fragile age of 8 or 9-] I truly believed that the kind of house I would own when I grew older would be a two story house, in a suburban neighborhood with many people nearby who would visit every Wednesday for supper. I believed that we [my future wife and I] would serve scalloped potatoes and pork tenderloin with carrots, because everyone likes those types of neighbors. Almost like a friendly get together for the family friends. Now that I am 20, and obviously not that individual anymore [except in some aspects], I don't like carrots, I find it weird to think of having neighbors come over every Wednesday for supper [this may indeed still happen, I can't be certain] and my dream house is not suburban, but more like the one in the picture..

I always have liked the architecture of these kinds of castles.

Two weeks to go! ..you have NO idea what I'm talking about do you?

Holy shit guys, you know what happens in two weeks right?! [at least, I'm pretty sure it's two weeks..] I'm going to drop a shit ton hints below [in picture format!], and then from there, you can tell me what is going on in 2 weeks [or I'll totally just tell you!]

HINT NUMBER 1:

HINT NUMBER 2:

HINT NUMBER 3:

okay, so clearly by now- you should be able to tell what I'm talking about: THE AVENGERS! I'm nearly dying with anticipation. and because I'm so fucking excited for it- I'm going to show you guys something that comes with the joys of working at a theater.. you ready for this?! [expect some really shitty pictures of me as well- as I'm pretty sure my body is still half asleep.]

well, it seems that was a dud:

[and yes, this is precisely how I feel: like David Tennant in the rain :D]
-----------------------------------------------------
but seriously. I can't find the awesome thing[s] I wanted to show you all. So I guess you'll have to wait- I won't leave you hanging though.. I'll literally look for the rest of the day until I find them. I will have to make a post when I find them for you guys to see- until then.. CHEERS

Hold on- There's gonna be a 'Wrong Turn 5'..

..yet, 'Behind The Mask' isn't getting a prequel yet? Okay, let me rewind quickly here, [I'd also like to take the time to give a shout out again to John- the mind behind Freddy In Space for tipping me off on this whole situation & if you'd like to read his thoughts on the matter- you can read it here] Behind The Mask is one of the greatest/smartest horror movies out there,

it is made to be a mockumentry about a serial killer named Leslie Vernon. [bare in mind as well, according to this movie- famous movie killers such as Freddy, Jason & Michael Myers, all existed] The film finds 3 college friends who want to work in filming documentaries led by naive and inexperienced Taylor. These are the 3 that are going to be filming Leslie as he explains why he does what he does. How he does it, and so on and so forth. Leslie turns out to be charming, highly intelligent & passionate and decides to show the camera crew his methods and detailed planning involved with stalking and then ultimately- killing. Nathan Baesel is the man behind the mask [haha.. see what I did there?], performing as Leslie Vernon and let's face it, for those who have seen it will agree- he absolutely makes this film work. He completely nails the role and is a seriously funny dude, while later on proving to be pretty intense and terrifying. There was many references to older horror movies such as Friday The 13th, Poltergeist and A Nightmare On Elm Street. How much of a homage to these classics you ask? well, let's just say a certain someone played a role in the movie [as seen from the movie below]:

can't tell who it is? let's get a little closer to his face!
-----------------------------------------------------
IT'S ROBERT ENGLUND! [he was the guy who played Freddy in the original Nightmare On Elm Street movies]
-----------------------------------------------------

now back to the story telling. Behind The Mask was brilliant and those horror fans [like myself and John over at Freddy In Space] who saw the flick, absolutely fell in love. So much in fact, that the makers of the movie planned a prequel! It was to be called Before The Mask. I say 'was to be called' because the worst has happened.. It's a large possibility that it may not happen. The producers are doing a lot to get it to us, such as sell props, pre order DVD packages, and such, but it's not doing as well as they hoped. Here's my complaint- I also recently found out that the 'Wrong Turn' series is getting yet another sequel..

.. even though, they have 4 before this one. Yet, Before The Mask is going to be erased from screens before even being filmed! I find this aggravating because we already have 4 Wrong Turn films, but only one Leslie Vernon flick..[which let's face facts- we need more Leslie .]

Fucking love Leslie Vernon [above]- just saying.

-----------------------------------------------------
I just want to close this rant by quoting John of Freddy In Space : 'I don't mean to particularly target the Wrong Turn films or suggest that we shouldn't be watching them. Hell, I love the second one and am a fan of the first as well. Third blew HARD, haven't seen the fourth yet. Anyways, there's obviously a place for films like these and I tend to have a blast watching generic backwoods horror, but it just frustrates the hell out of me to see a franchise like Wrong Turn get a new sequel almost every year, while an incredible ground breaking film like Behind The Mask has been trying to get one made for well over a year now, and just can't seem to get it off the ground. It just boggles my mind and doesn't seem right to me.'
-----------------------------------------------------
Thanks for reading everyone. Make sure to read Freddy In Space. it's because of that genius I even found out about this whole situation at hand, and as always: SUPPORT HORROR.

New trailer of the day: Ultimate Spider-Man [Animated]

As my favorite superhero, I tend to look up new updates on everyone's favorite Wall-Crawler. That's right, Spider-Man. Lately, I've been reading a lot about a new TV show [appearing on 'Disney XD'] which I've been kind of skeptical about [likely because it's Disney], but because it's based on Spider-Man, I'm naturally going to have to see what it's like. The name of this show: Ultimate Spider-Man. When it comes to the comics, I actually read both Amazing & Ultimate Spider-Man [although, I much prefer Ultimate.] So it's only natural that I'd watch the animated version of it. Growing up, I was a huge fan of the 90s Spider-Man cartoon, and am actually 'slightly' [meaning 'I'm really'] disappointed that it's actually not available to buy as a box set [at least, I haven't seen it anywhere- someone get back to me if you find it somewhere..seriously.] So hopefully this televised version of my favorite Web-Head is equally as good. Based on watching this trailer [which can be found below] I'm actually [so far] liking what I see- The animation looks nice, Spider-Man is actually sarcastic, and I can spot characters I recognize [this is always a plus.] The only thing I'm kind of worried about is that Drake Bell is doing the voice of Peter Parker/Spider-Man- which is something that I'll manage with [I'm not exactly too fussy on Drake Bell..], just because we finally get to see The Iron Spider suit !! Confused as to what The Iron Spider suit is? Look for the costume Spidey wears that kind of looks like something that Iron-Man would wear [ironically, in the comics anyways- Iron-Man made this suit for Peter].. Anyways- to get to the point of this post- watch the damn trailer! I'm shocked that I can officially say I'm excited for something going on Disney !! [wait- I get it now..Ultimate Spider-Man is going onto Disney XD because didn't Disney BUY a portion of Marvel?? *sigh* Damn it..]

Story Time: Things I've been up to lately-

Before I begin, I would just like to apologize about how I was going to originally write Part 3 of my 'Counting down 5 things about the author' [for part 1 click here] [and for part 2 click here] [I wanted all 5 parts to be one after the other] however, I cannot for the life of me think of a third thing I could write an entire post on.. [if you have an idea, leave me a comment, here or Facebook] So instead I've chosen to write a small entry about what I've been up to when I'm not hidden behind this computer screen.

1. I've been getting more shifts at work..

[I'm actually shocked I found a picture of the theater I work at on GOOGLE]
-----------------------------------------------------

When it comes to working at a theater, it's usually only busy when people want movies [which although it sounds like something that would be busy all the time- it really isn't] In fact, the last time it was actually busy [like REALLY busy] was on my birthday [March 23] which was ironically the opening night of Hunger Games- and yes, I worked that day. So therefore, I've now worked opening night of Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows [Parts 1&2], Twilight: Breaking Dawn [Part 1], and Hunger Games. other than those movies there, it feels as if the movie world really has died off since everyone could/ does download movies off shit like The Pirate Bay and what not.. and that makes me sad- I never download movies. I feel that if I enjoy the movie enough, I should be willing to pay for it. Otherwise the mastermind behind the film won't get funding for a new masterpiece.. makes sense- right?

[don't get me wrong, Hunger Games was really well done, but I am getting tired of EVERYONE talking about it- like it's the only thing in the world...]

-----------------------------------------------------
2. I have [officially] begun watching The Walking Dead..

-----------------------------------------------------

Now before you start freaking out on me with the hate, I know I'm quite late into the series [I believe I last heard that Season3 was starting in September?] however, Stephanie and I started watching the first season last night[I got season1 for my birthday from Mum] and watched the first 2 episodes.. and holy shit ! -I don't think I've felt so in love with a series since I first started watching Dexter or Six Feet Under![two of my favorite shows of all time] The first episode drew me right in- from the one zombie [it was a female, was almost in half.. look below. remember this one? guts hanging out the end and everything?] 

[I felt really bad when Rick shot it in the face, and it was reaching out to him.]
-----------------------------------------------------to the little girl zombie from the beginning of the first episode, who wore bunny slippers, and a house coat, and she's all cute and almost cuddly and then she turns around..

shiiiiit. my bad, she's a zombie.. ffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuck-----------------------------------------------------