Sunday, October 20, 2013

Movie Review; The Loved Ones [2009]

'When Brent turns down his classmate Lola's invitation to the senior prom, she comes up with a wild and violent plan for revenge.'


As I mentioned in the previous post, I love foreign horror films. I love the fact that they are willing to go a step further than most other films, and aren't afraid to get down and dirty [take that however you'd like] with the blood and guts category. The Loved Ones is no different. Hailing from down under, this Australian film is fucked.. and I mean really fucked up, everything from [SPOILER ALERTS!] knives in someone's foot, to drilling holes in someone's head- just so someone can pour boiling hot water from a kettle into the hole- this film has it all.If you don't mind further spoilers, go on and read ahead- time to for me to get into more detail!

The Loved Ones is mainly focused on a boy named Brent, who recently lost his father in a car crash- which he may or may not have caused- since he swerved off the road to avoid what looked like a half naked man all cut up and on the edge of his life. Since then, Brent has turned to drugs, music, and his girlfriend Holly, as a means to escape the pain of losing his father. Being as this is senior year in high school, the prom is coming up; and a seemingly innocent looking girl named Lola [who later is also known as 'Princess'] asks Brent if he's up to going to prom with her. Considering Brent is dating Holly, it's assumed that's why he denied her. It's only then that things start to go bad for Brent.. and I mean bad. As I kind of said above, this movie is fucked. There's nothing normal about Lola- she's psychotic, delusional, and almost child-like with her 'play thing'. Lola [and her even more psychotic father] seem to do this for fun! [as far as I noticed, there was no real explanation as to why Lola does this to boys she likes] She even goes so far as to cut a huge heart into his chest and carve her initials- "LS" [for Lola Stone]- into it...with a fork! [see below] If that wasn't enough to make you cringe, Lola actually throws salt at his wound.. I mean, jeez! All this for a prom rejection? Did I forget to mention that Lola and Daddy stick him with a needle of sorts so he can't even scream? Cause that totally happens as well.
When Brent eventually succumbs to the numbness of  everything he's gone through, he actually manages to somewhat escape- if only for a few minutes.. He then gets pinned to the chair [remember the knives in the foot I talked about earlier?] with a knife in each foot- hammered into the floor! The film as a whole is actually really fun to watch [y'know from a horror movie fan's point of view]. There's a weird side plot that involves the other guys Lola's had 'fun' with, but thankfully it's doesn't disturb the film in it's entirety too much. The only part that I felt was unnecessary, was the actual prom- like the one that Brent was going to with Holly before this whole situation with Lola and her Dad- there's a scene that's roughly 5 minutes long [even if it feels like 15 LONG minutes] of seeing all Brent and Lola's classmates dancing in a school gym- which actually ends up leading to a sex scene between Brent's friend and a goth chick. It just feels like it's in the way of what we actually are here to watch.

I guess what I'm trying to say is "Prom is Torture." [Okay, even for me that was a bad pun..]but seriously, that's where I'm going to leave you. I won't spoil the ending- cause I feel that it's easier to watch it than to actually explain it, plus it's pretty damn awesome- but I will leave you with this one thought: Be careful this school year, kids.. Thankfully, I'm out of High School, but if this movie taught me anything, it's don't straight up decline a girl's request to go to prom with you, give her a legitimate reason [even if saying you're going with someone else isn't considered 'legitimate' in this case].. I mean, hell- look at poor Brent here.. [does he live through the night? Guess you're caught guessing until you watch!] all he said is "Sorry, I'm going with Holly.. sorry." and look where he ended up. In all, I'd give this  movie a solid 4/5: it's a fun film, the content is good, and being a foreign film, it automatically wins a few extra brownie points. what have we learned today? STAY AWAY FROM THE [seemingly] INNOCENT KIDS! 
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