Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Sunday, February 26, 2012
As with the first Human Centipede movie, I was ever so skeptical about this movie as all I've been hearing about it from people is 'Oh God, don't watch it. It's about a million times worse!' or the more common response: 'Hell, it's your funeral; not mine..' [Thanks for that, guys.. glad to know you care. Only one friend actually suggested that I watch it.] But I saw it at HMV, and it was on sale.. okay, by on sale I mean $26. But facts remain the same, it was there..and I had to get it. [I'm one of those people who has to see EVERY movie in a series, I mean; I recently watched Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1- just because I saw the other 3.] I was originally intending to buy Pet Semetary [The 25th anniversary edition might I add], I eventually put that one down- grabbed Human Centipede 2 and booked it to the cash before I changed my mind. Sadly, as excited [not to mention fucking terrified] I was to watch it, I had to work that very night.. and until midnight none the less [I also refused to let Stephanie watch it before I saw it first, she hated the first and I warned her that the second seemed considerably worse.] I had no choice but to watch it the next morning- after Stephanie had left for work. I must have meant those words quite realistically because that's what I did: As soon as I heard the door to outside close, I popped the disk into the DVD player. I naturally skipped all the previews and trailers and jumped right to the menu, which made my heart pound hard out of my chest. Without thinking, I clicked play movie. [the official review starts after the dotted line. it will have MAJOR spoilers, and will involve graphic GIFs/pictures. You can now say you've been warned..]
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------Immediately, we are shown that the movie is going to be filmed in black and white- which I didn't mind at all. However, the movie starts off with the exact ending of Human Centipede [the first one]and we notice that a dwarfish man, who we come to know as Martin [who is a lonely, disturbed security guard in London] has been watching watching the film on his laptop. As soon as the credits roll, he rewinds the movie back to the very beginning [which confused me, because you don't have to rewind DVDs I thought?] to watch the film again.. The only difference this time around, is he pulls out this huge binder: [as seen below.]
Killing his mother left him to go full board with his operation: making the 12 person human centipede! However, there are a few things you still need to remember and put into context first-
1. Doctor Hieter from Human Centipede1 was a doctor. Martin is just a lonely security guard.
3. Hieter has medical tools, and anesthesia, Martin has a hammer, and a staple gun.
This leaves us to pretty well assume Martin's operation is going to be pretty different compared to Hieter's in the sense that at least Hieter may have made a cleaner job of the operation due to being an actual doctor..
Remember how I said there were parts even I couldn't watch? This was one of them. Obviously, as it's a GIF, you can't tell; but during this scene you could actually hear the teeth being hit [sounded pretty damn convincing to me] and not to mention you hear the guy choking on his own bile and blood. As I've mentioned before, I'm usually really good at watching these kind of scenes, but the realism of this one just got to me. The realism in this movie is so intense that when we see Martin cutting the tenants in the knee on his victims [yes, you see this full force- too bad I can't find a GIF] I actually bit my lip until it bled. Finally, when all is said and done- this is the result:
It seems that the operation worked as planned, and he actually managed to get 12 people stapled together [rather than sewn like in the first film]. He then begins doing pretty well what Hieter did with the whole food in a bowl- trying to feed his new 'pet' [I'm pretty sure the can that he put in the bowl said soup..] When the girl at the front of the centipede, Ms. Yennie [as in Jenny from the first film- remember? she was the one in the middle who lived at the end of the first film- below:]
[Yeeeah.. that girl! Remember her?]
tosses the bowl of soup Martin was trying to feed her off into the distance out of being upset at the situation at hand.. However, Martin kind of gets upset- yet, he smiles...
He seems to randomly have a funnel and a tube at his disposal,, and shoves it down Ms. Yennie's throat. he then pours the remaining soup down- forcing it into her system. When she finally finishes it, Martin once again decides to 'one up' Doctor Hieter. Does anyone remember the part during the original Human Centipede where Doctor Hieter waits for that special moment when the Asian man [I forget his name...] has to take a shit?
Well, Martin is sadly; not all that patient. We actually see him with a syringe and [although if you carefully enough, it said 'oral use only'] he actually injects Ms. Yennie with a laxative! It turns out, that he ends up injecting each of the 12 people, probably waiting on an explosive result.. which ultimately- he gets. We hear all sorts of sounds coming from the people and we see all the details of the shit.. Now, I'd like to say that by this point in the film, I thought I had seen the climax-I thought this was as insane as it was going to get.. However, I was seriously wrong. Although happy with his 'creation', and although he got what he wanted- [the people shitting everywhere] The very worst [in my ever so humble opinion.] was what came next. After everyone is freaking out from their massive diarrhea problems, Martin actually walks over to the end of the centipede, and actually rapes the girl who is the final part of the centipede! Of course, it has to go when step further when we realize Martin cannot maintain an erection- so naturally he ties his penis with nothing less than a piece of barbed wire..[words cannot describe how happy I am that I can't find a picture on Google of this scene] He then begins to violently rape the end of the centipede, to the point that the whole screen is shaking. When he's finally done though, the walks away from his 12 person creation, and not even 5 seconds later, one of the guys [who was stapled in the middle of the centipede] rips himself off from the others, leaving the guy he was attached to [not to mention his mouth] all bloodied up. One of the final scenes that we see, is Ms. Yennie grab the funnel, and actually stab in into Martin's ass- and throw an actual centipede into the funnel..leaving Martin to die.. Abruptly, the screen flashes- and we see Martin sitting in the room from the beginning; watching The Human Centipede. [we're left to understand this whole idea was all in his mind..]
Now, obviously there are scenes I didn't think of until after this review was finished and was proof read such as Martin killing the psychiatrist while he has sex with a prostitute in the back of a car, or the fact that the pregnant woman Martin kidnapped had actually given birth all over the floor, and she crushed this not even 2 hour old baby, under the gas pedal of a car she took trying to escape. But, at least you know these scenes exist. [yeah, it's pretty fucking crazy..] As for my opinion of the movie, I thought for what it was- it was pretty damn good. I mean, as I'm sure you know by now- I am a movie buff, one who if he starts a series of movies: I feel compelled to finish the series. So since I saw the first Human Centipede which I was kind of disappointed with [considering like so many, I expected to see what we saw in Human Centipede 2] but after looking up interviews with Tom Six [the writer/directer of both Human Centipede1 and 2] I now understand that the first film was to be more psychological, rather than the second being more 'I want to see the gore, the violence and all that is shitty.' I also found out that apparently, there is to be a 3rd film coming next- Human Centipede 3: The Final Sequence. Lastly, I'd like to put a shout out to Tom Six: you told us you'd shock us, making the first film look like Disney Land- I can personally say, you did what you said you were going to do; making some hardcore horror fans like myself cringe in our very skin..
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
I found out some good news for Michael Fassbender fans out there, you know, the actor who played Erik Lensherr [or better known as Magneto] in X-Men First Class. He has officially been set to have an even bigger part in the sequel. This has been said by the writer of the sequel Simon Kingsberg, who recently talked with MTV. Kinsberg had some interesting things to say about the character, who as we know, started out as a close friend to Charles Xavier- only to take a negative turn; deciding his powers should be used for evil purposes. Simon Kingsberg told MTV "What's what was so cool about the first one and what we want to continue. Magneto becomes the villain ultimately of the franchise but he’s a much more complicated character as a young man. He’s someone you sympathize with, you care about you root for even though might not necessarily agree with his methods, you understand his philosophy."
Although Fassbender was seen wearing the famous Magneto helmet and then joined forces with some other evil people at the end of X-Men: First Class, Kinsberg says he won’t necessarily become completely bad right away. "Michael [Fassbender] is such an interesting actor, he’ll never be full-on anything. He’ll have a villainous side and he’ll have a sympathetic human side you’ll be able to relate to but you’ll also be afraid of him."
HOWEVER! According to earlier rumors regarding the sequel, Magneto will not be the primary villain of the next X-Men movie. An interview with director Matthew Vaughn told us that the film would work with already established characters instead of bringing in a group of new ones, [which I for one agree would be disastrous] however there would be a new villain introduced. A villian which Vaughn had hinted would be familiar to fans of the X-Men franchise. So there is obviously going to be some excitement behind this [Hell, I'm excited.. I'm a HUGE Marvel fan] But, if you're not excited [which I can't see why you wouldn't be?!] At the very least it’ll have more Michael Fassbender, which no one can complain about.
Captain Spaulding from House Of 1000 Corpses/The Devil's Rejects
The Joker from Batman/The Dark Knight
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
.. Okay, I'm sure we've all felt like that- I know I have. The most recent time was watching Dexter [Season 5 finale, might I add] with Stephanie [my fiancee] and Isabella [my sister].
Now if you want to know what part it was that made me feel like Otis [the GIF above] scroll past my 'Spoiler Alert' banner- but it helps if you watch Dexter, or at least have seen the ending of Season 5.
[I speak for all of us when I say, I love Otis Firefly wayyyyyy too much]
Let me break it down for you, even if you have seen Season5- Nearing the end of the season, we learn that Dexter is becoming more and more infatuated with Lumen and Lumen with him. They feel like they have something together and Dexter is feeling like he finally found someone who doesn't see him as a Monster. [Point ONE for Dex, I'm proud of him :D] however, after FINALLY ridding themselves of Jordan Chase, Lumen and Dexter feel happy that the whole scenario with Chase and his buddies is over and done with so they decide to head back to the apartment. The next day, Dexter is all smiles and all happy-go-lucky [plus it's Harrison's birthday] but for some reason, Lumen is deathly silent. She mentions she hadn't slept at all that night because she has something she has to say- yet doesn't know how to say it. [okay, now the part that pisses me off to no end].. She tells Dexter her darkness is gone and she has to leave Miami- that day. She makes Dexter super upset, and he even smashes a plate out of frustration! Lumen then leaves Dexter to be upset for the rest of the day, despite it being his Son's first birthday. I was extremely upset. Especially after all they went through together. I've decided that Dexter needs to be alone when following through with his Dark Passenger from now on. No more people like Miguel [Season3] and certainly no more women like Lila [Season2] or Lumen [Season5].. But maybe that's just me.
[left: myself- Warren] Y'know, there comes a time in every movie buff's life where he says 'I need to make myself a blog..' Okay, no one says that, [except maybe me, as I said it when I started this..] but here I am..for good. However, I actually had a blog on here a long time ago, but I would either forget my password or I ended up just using Tumblr. [you can follow me on Tumblr- here] However, when I actually did remember my password just the other night- I figured I want to delete that old blog and start fresh. [according to Blogger my last post on the last blog was 2 years ago...] So where to begin? Okay, My name is Warren, I'm currently 19 [I turn 20 on March 23] and I'm an avid movie fan. I rarely 'dislike' movies [I try and give them all a solid chance] but of course there are a few exceptions. I don't want to drag this out too long so, I'll make a FAQ page just so to save time. Until then, expect to actually see this blog updated regularly about pretty well anything I see fit.. just mainly topics such as movies, reviews and other exciting things. Cheers!